This is a strange blog to write because February has been very strange. Honestly, I can't remember such a turbulent month in the entirety of my life. February wasn't entirely bad - I had some very good moments - but it has been filled with some seriously challenging moments.
I spent the beginning of February in the lowest place I have been on my year abroad. I was sick with the flu in bed, in a dysfunctional relationship, had a roommate who religiously got up at 4:30am in the morning and made a racket and had lost the friendship group I had made in my first semester. I was feeling incredibly sorry for myself and was dreading the rest of the semester.
I started to feel better and during the week, I made the decision to change rooms. I couldn't deal with my roommates lifestyle. She would get up at half past four in the morning, blow dry her hair, put the microwave on, whilst I was still in bed. It would wake me up every single morning and as a result, I became very ill because I wasn't getting any rest. I moved in with a girl called Gabby and a few girls helped me move my stuff to my new room. Gabby and I got on along very well and our schedules lined up, but the first few days I was feeling very unsettled as my relationship had just ended.
What was meant to be an easy break up turned into a mess. I was completely ignored, blamed for the break up (psycho bitch ex-girlfriend syndrome) and within a few days he had a new girlfriend. He insists that he didn't cheat, but hey, call me a cynic - I wasn't born yesterday.
I felt trapped and was incredibly hurt, so I made a last minute decision to spend the weekend in San Antonio. I booked a hotel and went with three exchange guys at my university (sausage fest). It took six hours to get to San Antonio and we arrived at midnight on the Friday, so we went straight to bed.
The next day we explored San Antonio and it was a really fantastic day. I fell in love with San Antonio, it really reminded me of Spain and there was a great vibe to the city, especially on the Riverwalk. Also, as San Antonio was south of Denton, it was 27 degrees Celsius all weekend.
We visited the Alamo, took a trip down the river, saw the city skyline and drank margaritas by the river; enjoying the weather and the city. There was so much to do and see.
The Alamo
That evening we went to dinner and Chris mentioned that his car was playing up. I didn't really think much of it and we enjoyed the evening in the city. However, the car was proving to be a real problem, so the boys decided to book the car into the only garage that was open on a Sunday in San Antonio.
That morning the car was really playing up whenever it was just starting. The exhaust fumes were so strong and the car was noisy whenever Chris changed gear. When we arrived at the garage, it turned out that there was no one who was trained to fix a BMW. We all started to panic. The attendance policies in American university's are tight. You can only have a certain amount of absences and after that amount, the professors will dock your grade. As foreign students, we are required to take a certain amount of credit hours and if we fail, we potentially could be kicked out of the country. Rob (who is a Scottish exchange student) and I were beginning to panic because we had to get to class for the next day.
As a result, we decided to get a taxi to the Greyhound station and get a coach back to Dallas, whilst Chris and Henri stayed with the car. Although we spent a good few hours on the coach home, it was actually nice to talk to someone British in person. Even though we leave at different ends of Britain, we just 'got' each other. There wasn't any confusion over the slang we used and we understood each others sarcasm.
We arrived in Dallas at 8:30pm, a couple of hours later than we should have and luckily enough, the foreign exchange mentor picked us up from Dallas. Chris and Henri braved driving the car back to Denton and somehow they made it, even though the car was a mess. I'm not sure whether Rob and I made the right decision, but breaking down in America, in the middle of nowhere, on a Sunday, was far from appealing.
Unimpressed by the return to reality, I decided to occupy myself on a 'snow day' (see picture below) by booking the majority of my trip around America with Colleen. As I was booking hotels, taxis, hostels etc. I get a message from one of the companies saying that my card was declined. I was confused, I had the funds for the trip, so I decided to ring my bank at home. Within minutes I was put through to the fraud department who told me that my card had been cloned and that they would have to send me a new one.
Heavy snow in Texas
Welcome to living in America with no money.
I am currently still waiting for my card to turn up and it has been nearly three weeks since my parents sent it from home. The amount of people I owe money is ridiculous and I still have no means of paying them back. My parents have been able to send some money to my American bank account via Paypal, but that has been problematic as well. After they sent the money, I went to a cash point to take it out, only to discover that 'my card was not recognised'. When I went into a branch, I was told that they had closed my account because I hadn't used it in three months and as a result, I had to set up a new account, meaning I wouldn't get any money for a week.
Sweeney Todd rehearsals and singing lessons were the only thing that was taking my mind off everything and singing was one of the few things that remained well in February. I was given the role of 'Second Lady' in the Magic Flute, which was the role I was hoping for. I was also invited to audition for another summer programme in Italy and I am currently waiting to hear back from them.
The only problem I have here is the fact that I am facing the reality of going home and going back to Birmingham next year. I love Birmingham very much, but having a year in a music college has made me realise how much I was missing out on and how much I still have to learn if I want the chance to study at a conservatoire for postgraduate.
I am also faced with the struggle of deciding where to study for my postgraduate. Do I go to London, do I go to The Hague or do I go back to the US and study on the East Coast? This decision is likely to influence where I will have my career and this year I have seen the realities of living away from friends and family and the problems it can cause in relationships. Opera is my passion, but it is a career that demands so much and I am currently thinking about whether I am willing to give it.
Last night was the opera after-party and I was introduced to 'everclear' and vodka punch. To put it mildly, the stuff is strong and two cups later and I am on the floor. Vodka has a history of making me emotional and I realised how vulnerable I have felt over the past couple of weeks. I really haven't had any security and being so far away from home, I realised I wasn't coping very well.
Although there have been some very challenging moments, there have been some incredible positives this month. The moment I told people that I was struggling, I had such support from people at home and here in Denton. It made me realise that I was incredibly blessed and that even when things get rough, there are people who love me and will support me when I'm in trouble.
I have had some really good nights with some friends, whether it's been visiting bars or just hanging out in someone's room and even though I was hurt by the break up, I feel like I have my life back.
I started to feel better and during the week, I made the decision to change rooms. I couldn't deal with my roommates lifestyle. She would get up at half past four in the morning, blow dry her hair, put the microwave on, whilst I was still in bed. It would wake me up every single morning and as a result, I became very ill because I wasn't getting any rest. I moved in with a girl called Gabby and a few girls helped me move my stuff to my new room. Gabby and I got on along very well and our schedules lined up, but the first few days I was feeling very unsettled as my relationship had just ended.
What was meant to be an easy break up turned into a mess. I was completely ignored, blamed for the break up (psycho bitch ex-girlfriend syndrome) and within a few days he had a new girlfriend. He insists that he didn't cheat, but hey, call me a cynic - I wasn't born yesterday.
I felt trapped and was incredibly hurt, so I made a last minute decision to spend the weekend in San Antonio. I booked a hotel and went with three exchange guys at my university (sausage fest). It took six hours to get to San Antonio and we arrived at midnight on the Friday, so we went straight to bed.
The next day we explored San Antonio and it was a really fantastic day. I fell in love with San Antonio, it really reminded me of Spain and there was a great vibe to the city, especially on the Riverwalk. Also, as San Antonio was south of Denton, it was 27 degrees Celsius all weekend.
The Riverwalk
We visited the Alamo, took a trip down the river, saw the city skyline and drank margaritas by the river; enjoying the weather and the city. There was so much to do and see.
The Alamo
That evening we went to dinner and Chris mentioned that his car was playing up. I didn't really think much of it and we enjoyed the evening in the city. However, the car was proving to be a real problem, so the boys decided to book the car into the only garage that was open on a Sunday in San Antonio.
That morning the car was really playing up whenever it was just starting. The exhaust fumes were so strong and the car was noisy whenever Chris changed gear. When we arrived at the garage, it turned out that there was no one who was trained to fix a BMW. We all started to panic. The attendance policies in American university's are tight. You can only have a certain amount of absences and after that amount, the professors will dock your grade. As foreign students, we are required to take a certain amount of credit hours and if we fail, we potentially could be kicked out of the country. Rob (who is a Scottish exchange student) and I were beginning to panic because we had to get to class for the next day.
As a result, we decided to get a taxi to the Greyhound station and get a coach back to Dallas, whilst Chris and Henri stayed with the car. Although we spent a good few hours on the coach home, it was actually nice to talk to someone British in person. Even though we leave at different ends of Britain, we just 'got' each other. There wasn't any confusion over the slang we used and we understood each others sarcasm.
We arrived in Dallas at 8:30pm, a couple of hours later than we should have and luckily enough, the foreign exchange mentor picked us up from Dallas. Chris and Henri braved driving the car back to Denton and somehow they made it, even though the car was a mess. I'm not sure whether Rob and I made the right decision, but breaking down in America, in the middle of nowhere, on a Sunday, was far from appealing.
Unimpressed by the return to reality, I decided to occupy myself on a 'snow day' (see picture below) by booking the majority of my trip around America with Colleen. As I was booking hotels, taxis, hostels etc. I get a message from one of the companies saying that my card was declined. I was confused, I had the funds for the trip, so I decided to ring my bank at home. Within minutes I was put through to the fraud department who told me that my card had been cloned and that they would have to send me a new one.
Heavy snow in Texas
Welcome to living in America with no money.
I am currently still waiting for my card to turn up and it has been nearly three weeks since my parents sent it from home. The amount of people I owe money is ridiculous and I still have no means of paying them back. My parents have been able to send some money to my American bank account via Paypal, but that has been problematic as well. After they sent the money, I went to a cash point to take it out, only to discover that 'my card was not recognised'. When I went into a branch, I was told that they had closed my account because I hadn't used it in three months and as a result, I had to set up a new account, meaning I wouldn't get any money for a week.
Sweeney Todd rehearsals and singing lessons were the only thing that was taking my mind off everything and singing was one of the few things that remained well in February. I was given the role of 'Second Lady' in the Magic Flute, which was the role I was hoping for. I was also invited to audition for another summer programme in Italy and I am currently waiting to hear back from them.
The only problem I have here is the fact that I am facing the reality of going home and going back to Birmingham next year. I love Birmingham very much, but having a year in a music college has made me realise how much I was missing out on and how much I still have to learn if I want the chance to study at a conservatoire for postgraduate.
I am also faced with the struggle of deciding where to study for my postgraduate. Do I go to London, do I go to The Hague or do I go back to the US and study on the East Coast? This decision is likely to influence where I will have my career and this year I have seen the realities of living away from friends and family and the problems it can cause in relationships. Opera is my passion, but it is a career that demands so much and I am currently thinking about whether I am willing to give it.
Last night was the opera after-party and I was introduced to 'everclear' and vodka punch. To put it mildly, the stuff is strong and two cups later and I am on the floor. Vodka has a history of making me emotional and I realised how vulnerable I have felt over the past couple of weeks. I really haven't had any security and being so far away from home, I realised I wasn't coping very well.
Although there have been some very challenging moments, there have been some incredible positives this month. The moment I told people that I was struggling, I had such support from people at home and here in Denton. It made me realise that I was incredibly blessed and that even when things get rough, there are people who love me and will support me when I'm in trouble.
I have had some really good nights with some friends, whether it's been visiting bars or just hanging out in someone's room and even though I was hurt by the break up, I feel like I have my life back.
I've really had to remind myself that it could always be worse. At least I have a roof over my head, a support network and my health.
Here's to a fantastic March!
No comments:
Post a Comment